I wish I could punch you in the face.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Houston, we have a blender
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
