there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
