please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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