I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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