Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize