I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my shit smells like andre
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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