So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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