i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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