he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
