wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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