After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
