The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he thought i was a dude.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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