problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
