Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
