I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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