i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think I sprained my soul last night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
