is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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