I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize