69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
