lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We need to rekindle our bromance
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
