Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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