Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
