you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
