I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize