I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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