Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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