my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
