just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
