i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
