saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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