I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
