Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
