I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
