Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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