You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
