yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
