Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
