He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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