their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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