I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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