I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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