Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
