As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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