hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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