remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you would pick up someone in the library
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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