Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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