ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize