Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
