Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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