i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
