Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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