we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
