I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
These tits shall not be calmed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
