Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
