I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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