first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
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Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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