You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
